myBurbank Talks
myBurbank Talks
Women of Burbank: Has Badalian Collins, AYSO 254 Regional Commissioner
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myBurbank reporter, Ashley Erikson, sits down with Has Badalian-Collins who was born and raised in Burbank and now raises her own family here in the city she grew up in.
She shares her career path as a prosecutor in Los Angeles and Orange County to being on the general counsel for the LA Police Department.
Has has a heart of volunteerism and talks about her roles in different organizations including her role as the AYSO Burbank 254 Regional Commissioner for the lat 3 years.
Has also shares her medical journey through heart surgery, failing valves, and what her kids now call her “bionic heart.”
Life in Burbank
Speaker 1From deep in the Burbank Media District . It's time for another edition of my Burbank Talks , presented by the staff of my Burbank . Now let's see what's on today's agenda as we join our program .
Speaker 2Hi , welcome back to another episode of Women of Burbank . My name is Ashley Erickson and I have Hospedalian Collins here . She is a Burbank native and the Burbank AYSO regional commissioner . She has a heart for volunteerism and a heart that has been on a scary medical journey , which we're going to talk all about today . But first , welcome . Thank you for joining us . Thanks for having me , ashley . Yeah , so you've been born and raised in Burbank . Tell me what that's been like , what has been the difference in , you know , being a child versus now and that whole thing .
Speaker 1Yeah , you know , I mean I'll say I don't know that I remember much about . I mean I remember growing up here , but people , you know , I think our kids all do a project about someone who's lived in Burbank for a long time and they'll ask like , yeah , like what was it like 40 years ago ? I'm like I don't really remember . Um , I remember walking to the mall , I remember just general safety of the city , but I don't like I couldn't tell you . When people are like oh , there used to be a such and such um on this corner of the street , I was like I don't remember that , so I'm maybe not the best person to ask about that . Um , I have a really good memory about some things , but that I don't . I remember there used to be a Tony Roma's on San Fernando . There used to be oh gosh , I'm trying to remember it was like a , not a Woolworth's , maybe it was a Woolworth's like also on San Fernando . So I like I remember little things like that .
Speaker 2But , and the AMC wasn't there , the AMC was there .
Speaker 1It was on . If it was Palm maybe or something like that , that whole area obviously was different and it was one AMC on that street and then they kind of redid it and then broke it up into three and so I remember that . But I also think I just I mean , I grew up in like the hills of Burbank . It's actually technically almost even like Sun Valley , like our across the street neighbors in Burbank .
Speaker 1Like by the Cabris , actually far more of like off of Hollywood Way , so you couldn't just like walk out of your house and just start walking around because you'd have to go down a big hill . I do remember walking home from school once or twice when my mom forgot to pick me up or like maybe she didn't but I didn't have a phone , yeah , and I remember like walking up our hill thinking like this is really steep , so like you weren't really walking around , whereas , like my kids right now could easily walk out of our house and just kind of walk to the local whatever used to be the Rite Aid . Yeah , so it was just given where we lived . It was not a super walkable place , so I can't really tell you honestly , what school did you go to ?
Speaker 1I went to St Francis Xavier in up in the hills of Burbank and then after that I went to Notre Dame High School in Sherman Oaks and I've been fairly local but for like a small stint outside of LA , still in Southern California , to go to law school . But I've been here pretty much my whole life . And then we like actually at some point my husband and I lived in Santa Monica and then we realized , oh , that's really far from my parents .
Speaker 2And we had to Are they still here .
Speaker 1Yeah , so my dad passed away 15 years ago , but my mom is still here . She still lives in the same house we grew up in . Yeah , so that's kind of funny , but you know , so it's like you're like once you start realizing like , oh , I might need to see my parents more often .
Speaker 2Oh , having kids and needing that extra help , yeah , exactly . I was going to ask what brought you back , because you left for law school . You went to UCLA and San Diego for schooling .
Speaker 1Yes , I went to UCLA for undergrad and master's . I went to UCLA for undergrad and master's and then I went to University of San Diego for law school , came back , got married and my husband and I lived in Santa Monica . We actually moved back to the area before having kids I think just my dad was sick at the time , like I think we . Just it was a long drive to come here from Santa Monica to visit . So we moved back and we lived in Studio City for a few years . I mean like three blocks outside of Burbank , essentially .
Speaker 1So we moved back and we lived in Studio City for a few years I mean like three blocks outside of Burbank . So we were there , we had our first child while we were in Studio City and we were at a townhouse and then I realized it was a three story walk up with a subterranean parking up and you've got a kid in a car seat and you're like I got to walk up those stairs . Then I got to walk up those stairs and I got a car seat and I have a stroller . So that lasted for about two years and I was like , miles , we need a one-story house , I want to be able to pull into my driveway and just kind of be there . So that's really what brought us back to Burbank . But that's like I was thinking , hey , we'll get a house like in the Valley Village area it's kind of where I went to high school and you know and I was like I'm not going back to Burbank . I grew up in Burbank . I want something different .
Speaker 1Yeah , you're done oh yeah , I was totally done . Something in Burbank brings people back . Well , I was tricked .
Speaker 1That's what I say so our real estate agent at the time was someone I went to high school with and I had said to him I was like Mike , you can find me a house in this general vicinity , but it can't be in Burbank . And he goes , why ? And I was like , because I can't be the person who lives in the city they grew up in or was born in . That can't be me . And he was like OK , fine . So we went , we looked at a bunch of places . We looked at a bunch of places like what is it ? Toluca terrace , like the area just right next to it , and it was all just whatever .
Speaker 1And so one day he calls , he goes hey , can you , um , meet me at this house ? And it was like after work . And I'm like , okay , well , where is it ? He's like he's like I'll just send you the address . I go , mike , where is it ? He's like I'll just send you the address . So he go , mike , where is it ? He's like I'll just send you the address . So he sends the address and I'm like and so we go and it's like five or 6 PM and this house has skylights in the living room . So you walk in and it's like the beautiful sun setting and the lights hitting that .
Speaker 2I know he totally , totally tricked me .
Speaker 1He tricked me and I walked in and I was like he totally tricked me . He tricked me and I walked in . I was like , okay , so this is the house and it's two blocks into Burbank from the edge . And I was like , oh my gosh , but that's how we ended up in Burbank . I fought it tooth and nail and then we ended up here and I was like , oh , this is where I was meant to be .
Speaker 2That is so funny . I wonder if that's everyone else's story . They try to try to break away . I know I grew up in Glendale so I didn't get very far .
Speaker 1You didn't . You're like I'm like two . You're like I'm two blocks in from the other side of Burbank . Yeah , yeah , so it is . It is funny it was despite my , my efforts . And now I'm like why would I want to live in Toluca Terrace ? Like that's crazy . Why do I want City of LA ? You know , services , like obviously . But you know , I was young and I think I was like no one wants to be the kid that like stayed here in their hometown , right Exactly , and your hometown's Burbank , yeah .
Speaker 1But you also don't realize like , oh , the schools are great , oh , the services are . You don't you're not thinking that when you're in your twenties , I mean now , I tell people that I go , don't live there , move two blocks here . But yeah , no one's , no 20 year olds listening to a 40 year old or a 60 year old , you know .
Speaker 2but so you know , here we are and then you became a prosecutor for LA .
Speaker 1You know , actually I started off as a prosecutor in Orange County . Um then , and we were living in Santa Monica at the time , that was quite a drive , but LA DA's office wasn't hiring , so then I transferred to LA . Then I had children . So then I went into private practice for a few years and I was representing cities and school districts . So it was always public entity . You know , representation of public entities . It was never any Did you do that raising kids .
Speaker 2It was hard , it's a big job , big job , yeah , yeah , it's an exhausting job yeah , I mean , I always joke .
Speaker 1I had , I've always had very , very good bosses . But my one boss , uh , when I was in private practice , who I love dearly and I still , you know , relatively communicate with him here and there , I would always say to him I was like , well , the employee you have now is not who you would have had before children like that is a very different employee . I was like , but I'll get the stuff done in a shorter period of time because that's what you have and you just make it work . And you know , some days I can be a really really good lawyer and some days I can be a really really good mom , and there are very few days where I can do both at the same time .
Speaker 1So you just kind of pick your battles and you pick your days . And some days , you know , I luckily have a very helpful and supportive husband and I'll say , hey , I need you to be on today Like you're handling , especially if I'm in trial , I'll be like you're handling from 5 am until midnight . You will not see me . I'll see you on Friday , you know . So . So as long as you have someone like that who's helpful , and maybe their job is also something that's conducive to that right , that works um . But if you don't have that help , I just don't .
Speaker 2I don't know how it's possible yeah , and what are you doing now ? Are you working the same amount of hours and ?
Speaker 1um , yeah , well , so after private practice I went in house and I worked at the city
Volunteerism and Time Management
Speaker 1of Pasadena . So that's really what that means . So instead of having multiple clients , you have one client . So my client at that time became the city of Pasadena , and at this point I had worked as a prosecutor , so I had sort of the experience and relationships with police and law enforcement and I had worked for cities and schools and they tend to have their own police department .
Speaker 1So I just at some point I found that I was doing a lot of police work and employment work , and so when I went in-house to the city of Pasadena I was like , well , this is what I would normally do . I would do the police department and the man who used to represent police and was like advisory to police he happened to retire literally like the day before I started and so I was hired to be like a generalist , but when I showed up he wasn't there . They're like , well , we need a police person . I was like , oh , okay , well , that's me . That's actually exactly what I do , wow .
Speaker 1So I was kind of fortuitous .
Speaker 2Yeah , very fortuitous yeah , very fortuitous .
Speaker 1so , um , I represented pasadena pd for about four years and then I transferred to city of los angeles where I did pretty much the exact same thing for about another four years , and then I just kind of transferred units and I now work for police general counsel , which is no longer doing like litigation of police matters , but now we do advisory work for LAPD .
Speaker 2You're very busy and you have three kids I do and then you have so much volunteerism under your belt which I don't understand how you can do all of these things . That's the pot calling the kettle black . Yeah , but I'm working from home in my pajamas and my computer . You're all over the place .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's . You know . I always say like the time you need , the time you need is the time you have , and the time you have is the time you need . You just kind of make it work .
Speaker 2It's really about time management . It really is . Everyone has the same amount of time . It's just what you use in those hours .
Speaker 1Totally , and it's never going to be perfect . It's not , you know , no matter what , especially when you're talking about volunteerism . Like my job , my employment , my job has to be perfect , because someone's paying me to do that For volunteerism , I'm like , well , this is the best I can do with what I have .
Speaker 2If you don't want , want me , you can pick someone else . Yeah , no one will be there . But and it's always like volunteering is a team , like there's always a group of people that pick up the slack when you can't right . Like comes to the pta , you're in the pta , yep , and the main thing you do is you're the regional commissioner for ayso , which region 254 , which is burbank , right , yep , and you . How long have you been doing that ?
Speaker 1so I started um when my oldest was first started playing soccer at region 254 , so it must have been when he was four , so 2014 you've been on the board for a long time .
Speaker 1So it's like it's like the story of every volunteer thing you go to register your child and they go we really need volunteers , can you sign up to do something ? And I was like , okay , well , what do you need ? And they're like , oh , we need . He's like what , your child's going to be in schoolyard ? Okay , we need a schoolyard coordinator . I was like I don't know what that means , but , okay , sure , yeah . And so then all of a sudden , you start getting all these emails about board things and they're like , oh , I'm on a board .
Speaker 2This isn't just like I'm a teen parent , you , you know like , give me my task and let me go .
Speaker 1No , this is this , and so it was a lot of figure it out , like what am I supposed to do ? How does this work ? So I started off when he was about four . So it's been 10 years on the board of like not knowing what I was doing . Yeah , and I was the schoolyard coordinator . And then of course that child goes , gets older and now moves up to like U6 . So then I was the U6 coordinator and then he goes into U8 . And so you're the U8 coordinator . You know so , and it is I mean especially AYSO they're always looking for help anyway . So if you're willing to do something , they're like great , you know we'll take your help , help .
Speaker 2so yeah , yeah , and the crazy part is that you don't have a child in ayso anymore . Not anymore , I do . You are leading the whole thing . I am so , and you've been regional commissioner for three years this is my third season .
Speaker 1Third and hopefully last whoever's listening there will be an opening . Okay , I'm hoping to pass this on .
Speaker 2I really need someone to step up yeah , I don't know how you can
Taking on Leadership Roles in AYSO
Speaker 2do this . First of all , how did you go from these positions to leading this whole organization ? So I think we got to about .
Speaker 1I want to say utah and my husband and my husband and I have always like kind of tag teamed these divisions . He's on the board too right space , so that's what he does now . Previously , before this year , before we got a game scheduler , he was also doing the game schedule . So our tasks have changed over a period of time . And so we got to about U10 . And I remember someone called me and was like , hey , I really need . Oh , the person who was the game scheduler for a while he left to go to AYSO in Glendale . So I was like , oh , and they're like we really need a game scheduler . And I was like I mean , I could be the game scheduler .
Speaker 1I guess I mean when someone says I really need , yes , I'm like okay , you can't say no .
Speaker 2I can't say no . And I was like what my gosh ? My hand is moving up Like no , they will find somebody , I know they will .
Speaker 1I've gotten much better , I'd say , in the last three years . I've gotten much better being like , okay , yeah , so who's it going to be ? Guys , because it's not going to be me . Yeah , you put your time in . And I feel like it's a little bit of that . It's a little bit of realizing that whatever organization you're a part of needs new blood . I can't , you can't , it can't be the same five people , because it starts to get stale and the organization doesn't grow . So that's helped me realize I'm actually doing the organization a favor by not jumping in and filling that spot , but that I'm there as a backstop .
Speaker 1If you know , things are really , really bad and they need somebody . So in that sense I have gotten much better . And my husband does joke and say if you volunteer for one more thing and he's just like we were just recently at this like choir thing , and someone's like so , um , so I can , I talk to you about you know x , y or z ? And he's looking at me and like don't , don't , do not walk over there . And I'm like , oh my gosh .
Speaker 2Miles , you're horrible . I said that this year after being PTA president . I was like I'm saying no to everything and I did say no . And then what does keep coming ? They do Luther PTA and I was like this is my year of no , yeah it's hard .
Speaker 1It's hard . I have a really , really , really good friend . I call her my life wife , but she , um , she's very similar . We're like cut from the same cloth and you know she'll , and I'll see that happening to her and I'm like no , no sarah you can't do that , you're not saying yes to that , and she's just looking at me going like wait a minute .
Speaker 1I was like it's a lot easier to tell someone else not to do that . Yeah , um , but yeah so , yeah , let's . So I decided I was like , okay , I'll be the game scheduler . And then in the middle of that , um , I think the person who was purchasing so that's the person who purchases uniforms and every . I mean uniforms , balls , all that kind of stuff . That person quit , so like we desperately need a purchaser , you're taking all of these positions in the same year ?
Speaker 1Yes , oh my gosh . There were about maybe three seasons where I did both of those at the same time . Those are not . That is not a job that one person should have . They should very , very obviously should be two people . And we currently have two separate people doing it . And guess what ? They are both busy full time , because those are full-time positions that should be handled separately . So I did that um and then gosh , I guess it was about three years ago . Three years ago , around Thanksgiving actually , we had a . We had some discord on our board . There was a . There's a um without getting into too much of the nitty-gritty , because I feel like that could be a podcast episode on its own that no one else besides me would be interested in , I don't know People love the tea yeah maybe , but I thought it became clear that we needed a change .
Speaker 1And you know , and it's like my mom's always taught me , like don't complain about something unless you're willing to jump in and either offer a solution or fix it . Yeah , and because I was always like I am not doing that job , that is not something I want and I've got three kids and there are , you know , especially as you now know , you know when your kid's playing soccer , that's your entire Saturday is gone . So if you have that , plus the job of a regional commissioner , you're never .
Speaker 2You never leave the field .
Speaker 1Yes , I never get to see my own kids play , yeah . So I kept fighting it . I was like , no , it's not what I'm gonna do , I'm not gonna do that . But then I was like , okay , well , it's not , this will not change unless we see meaningful change , unless we see a meaningful a person . Who's going to take it over , who's not ? And I looked over and I was . There were plenty of people around that would have been good at that job , but no one else . Again , same thing no one else is stepping up to do it . That , I thought , would do the job well . And that's , I think , my other flaw , where I look at something and I go well , that can be done better . And that's not to say there aren't things right now in the region that cannot be done . Of course they can right . It's like it's not my paid job . I don't get a penny for what I do . So , yes , if I was paid to do this , it could be done way better , but I certainly think that there were things that needed to be done better .
Speaker 2Yeah , you saw some holes and gaps and you wanted to go in and close them and fix them , at least like some major ones .
Speaker 1It's like I can't fix everything , but there are some major things . Especially , I think , we needed to rebuild the trust that we had with our community , and so those were kind of the big things that I wanted to hit , and so I threw my name in , and here we are three years later . It is a three-year stint .
Speaker 2Oh , it is . It is .
Speaker 1So while you could be , I think you could be elected for probably all three right one , a two or three , but at that particular time I was elected for three year stint oh , that's like a big commitment to like jump into yes , and I think in my head . I kept saying like well , I can always just do it for one and resign if I need to .
Speaker 2But like that's not me . So I was like worse comes to worse .
Speaker 1like this is what I could do , but like if it's like the worst thing in the world and it hasn't been . I mean , in reality there's . It's a lot , a lot , a lot of work , but at the same time I have met so many great people in our board . You just develop friendships and relationships with people that you wouldn't otherwise .
Speaker 2That's why I do PTA . I don't do it for my kids they don't even know what I'm doing or what it's for but I just do it for the parents .
Speaker 1Well , clearly I'm not doing AYSO for my kids , so that is not so . You know it's funny . People do ask that . They go like why you know , why would you do this when your kids are not on it ? I said , you know , I will say something .
Speaker 1There is something very nice about do well , besides just doing something for the community or whatever , but because that's very important . But I know that anytime I make a decision it is not self-interested whatsoever , like . There is no way that I can say , you know , I picked this team versus this team because my kids on that team , like . I know in my heart of hearts that every decision I make is a neutral decision that doesn't help me in any way whatsoever or hurt me in any way whatsoever , like . And so I'm not bending over backwards to not help my kids , but I'm also not doing something that's self-interested to their benefit . So in that sense it's been great . I think that there's a true benefit to having someone like that in that position , who doesn't have a kid , who's involved . I mean , there's plenty of regions that have regional commissioners whose kids have graduated , moved on , and they're the regional commissioner and they haven't had kids on there for years . So I think that , that I don't want to say that's the norm , but it's certainly a thing . Yeah .
Speaker 2Well , there's a couple of people on the board that don't have kids in this .
Speaker 1Oh yes , but I would say more like as a regional commissioner to do that I think there are .
Speaker 1So there definitely are , and I probably would recommend that , but at the same time , I think that you certainly could do the job . You just have to be very , very mindful of the fact that when you do have children that are in the region that you're , that's going to be looked at very critically , um . So you have to be mindful of that , and you have to be mindful of the fact that you have to make sure that the decisions you're making are within the best interest of the community and the region and not yourself .
Speaker 2so yeah , so what are you gonna do when you're not ?
Speaker 1there's . There's not a time in my life where I haven't had a passion project , so I'm sure I'll do something . Are you in PTA right now . I am so actually . So for a while I was PTA president at Roosevelt . I just finished up a two-year PTA president at .
Speaker 2Dolores Huerta Middle School . So you were PTA president and regional commissioner simultaneously Not intentional regional commissioner , simultaneously Not intentional
Parent Involvement in School Activities
Speaker 2.
Speaker 1I always joke and say it's because no one wanted to be president of Doris Mills . Oh yeah , I know . Yeah . So I was like yeah , I'm the reluctant president . I didn't want that job either . I didn't want this job either . I don't think anyone really does want that job , Especially in middle school . You know it's not like the funnest time .
Speaker 2There aren't a ton of fun events you can't really be on the campus very much .
Speaker 1No , yeah you're not like planning events or anything ? No , and the two years that I did it at roosevelt was 2020 you're the same as me , 2021 ?
Speaker 2yes , I was . I was 1920 , 2021 , so this it could have hit during my presidency . Yeah , that's why I went back for one more year , just to like redeem myself . Yeah , you needed that full year I know and I didn't .
Speaker 1I didn't have that . I had one full year of us all at home , yeah , and then the other year where it's like we were really limited in what we could do and you know , everything had to be outside . So there was a lot of stuff that happened and I and I totally understand the I want to redeem myself . I always joke like to whoever is the president moment go . Yeah , well , we couldn't do that then either .
Speaker 2I'm sorry you know , but , well , maybe you can redeem yourself and be president again or something .
Speaker 1Maybe I'll go back to roosevelt and be president but remember what I said things get stale . It's young blood is great . I think that if you can get some younger parents who are and not that I'm saying I'm old , but you know I want them to be there for a long time .
Speaker 1Yes , yes , I'm , I'm . My third kid is in fourth grade . Yeah , he's leaving soon . I'm . Always there is a stopgap like hey , you know , like we know , this is just how we've done it . Or like this is something for you to consider . It's good to have that institutional knowledge . Who's still at the school and willing to help ? But really someone else . It's like . It's like it's like I say it shouldn't be . Like you know the Clintons and the Bushes . It's like I don't , I don't need the same four names being recycled . Go find someone else . So , and you know it's in a school of five , 600 families . Yeah , you should be able to find at least a few .
Speaker 2So you're at elementary middle school and high school For two years . How was your drop off going ?
Speaker 1You know , I thought it was going to be worse because , you know I mean well , luckily , my oldest is taking a zero period , so that helps a little bit . Yes , and then my middle one . He's walking to a friend's house and that the mom , which is one of our good friends , is taking him to school and dropping off because that Dolores were to drop . I mean , as you know , middle school drop off .
Speaker 2We're close enough for walking which thank goodness , because there's no point . You're blocks away .
Speaker 1It's horrible and whereas Burroughs has been pretty good , and maybe because it's zero period and there aren't a million people Even I .
Speaker 2It took two years to find the spot I needed . We were trying like this block for a while and this block , and then we found the sweet spot .
Speaker 1And then you're like , how has no one found this spot . Yes , Like they're all down that other way and I'm like don't tell anybody and don't tell this is the private spot , but yeah , I've been able to drop him off without an issue . And then our third he starts at 830 . So that's been actually nice . So I do the Burroughs drop , walk him to school , which I haven't been able to do for three years , since we were remodeling our house and not at our house . So isn't ?
Speaker 2it like as soon as you get into a routine , though , like something gets thrown into it .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , like just for now . Things are nice and I appreciate it . Right , yeah , totally yeah , so it's been good .
Speaker 2I can't complain . You don't have anything on the radar in terms of like what Anytime you're .
Speaker 1I think anytime your kids are into something new , that's always a good place to just jump in and do something . I think all of my volunteerism has always been focused on something kid related , just because they are so much more pleasant to hang out with . They are the best part of anything you do . They're so appreciative .
Speaker 1They're appreciative , they're fun they're . You know they don't . They . It's like they're . They're light , they're like life is lighter . So they're not coming at you with a ton of extra baggage , you know , it just is . For the most part , there's plenty of kids who've got stuff going on at home . But I don't know so my oldest , who just started at Burroughs , he is in the choir . So you know there's plenty of opportunities there , assuming that's something that I'm ready to jump into .
Speaker 2We'll see and .
Speaker 1I kept saying like no , because you've got your playful . The AYSO position takes up a ton of time , and so I was like , well , maybe when that's over we can talk about it .
Speaker 2Oh requires listening .
Speaker 1If anyone there , they're waiting in the wings They've already tried and I and the other thing I say is like it's got to be a position that suits you and works to your strengths , right . Don't take on the task that's going to really task you . You know , and everyone's strong at different things , you know , so do the thing that you're really good at , and so there's . There have been some things that have popped up where I'm just like you don't want me to do that that is not that doesn't work to my strength , usually something that requires me to be somewhere all the time .
Speaker 1That's not to my strength . I have a full-time job , yeah , um , so it's like you got . I gotta find things where I can do it at night . I can organize it here , there , whatever it is so exactly I'm a good delegator . I can't just sit there yeah , I don't know that I'm a great delegator .
Speaker 2Really , yeah do you want to do it yourself because you think you can do it better .
Speaker 1I think it's a little bit of that and it is a little bit of oh , then A , it's done the way I want it . And then B I can only blame myself if I did it correctly . So that's a problem . But that's okay as long as I can do it on my own time .
Speaker 2You know , I'm routinely up until 2 , 3 o'clock in the morning doing work , so that's OK , I used to be like that , and now it's like nine o'clock hits and I'm like , well , I'm ready to go to bed . I'm waiting for that . I'm so tired . It's going to happen , yeah .
Speaker 1I'm hoping it hits me in like my 70s , like if I can have some time , just don't slow down and then you'll be fine . That's the hope . Yeah , so we'll see . We got that One , but I've got I don't want to say a little bit of pushback , but it's just . Anytime you're talking about something starting , something new there's , it's just kind of like oh , there's just so much . But I so when I was in college law school , I was part of the mock trial team at UCLA and University of San Diego and so even after I graduated from law school , like I , or when I was in law school , I was coaching , helping coach our teams over there , helping coach the UCLA team . We actually started the program at Notre Dame High School , where I was my alma mater , and when I was working in Orange County , I was coaching one of the Catholic schools down there . So I would love to start a program like that at one of our . I mean , really we should have one at the middle schools and the high schools .
Speaker 2I'm surprised they don't have that .
Speaker 1I think Burbank High does , but my kids don't go to Burbank High , so I think we need one at Dolores , huerta or Luther and or yeah . And then I think Burroughs needs to have it , so they have teen court or something similar to that , but that's very different . We really should have it in a city full of performers and super smart children , like I think that this is . I mean , there are kids there . So the program , the way it works , is you have some people who are witnesses and they're essentially just acting , and then you've got people who are attorneys who , like I always tell people I'm like part of being an attorney is just acting , like you're just playing a part . So in a city of actors , we should have a mock trial program and we should be really good . That would be really fun . Maybe when I finish this stint yeah , someone takes over , that'll be the thing . Um and my , I don't think my kid is interested in it at all , so that'll be another .
Speaker 2So funny that like my kid like wants nothing to do with school , like all his stuff is after school . Yeah , and I'm like working the concession stands at the football game like doing these things and I'm just like all alone my kids are nowhere to be found .
Speaker 1I know it's that's kind of how it goes and I don't know that any of my kids would be interested in and I was like , yeah , I really , but you're interested in it .
Speaker 2oh yeah , you're gonna touch people's lives that are interested in , and that's the whole point right .
Speaker 1I can't even tell you like this is how you know you feel old . So kids that I coached , who were freshmen , sophomore juniors and seniors at Notre Dame High School you know I'm we're on . You know friends on Instagram now and I looked at them . I go , oh , you're pregnant , oh , okay , oh , yeah , yeah , that was a long time ago that I coached you . You are now having your own child . Like this is a little freaky , that's so funny . So , yeah , it's you definitely .
Speaker 1And then they'll reach out and they'll say like , hey , you know , can I have a recommendation letter for law school or for this job ? And I'm always like , can I just talk you out of it ? Like maybe you need an easier job . This is not an easy job , you know . Like , go do something that's like you know it takes up a little less time , a little less stress . Yeah , no one . They never listen to me , never , never . I've never been able to talk . Everyone has to learn the hard way in life . That's how it is . I'll just say I've never been able to talk someone out of law school . And then they go to law school and I go you're a lawyer , that's so great for you .
Speaker 1Call me in a few years and we'll cry together exactly when you have your first kid and you're like , oh , this is harder than I thought . So , yes , you do end up , yeah , like touching a lot of kids' lives and they don't forget you . I mean , I've received so many rants and they'll always be like I don't know if you remember me . I was like of course I remember you . What do you mean if I remember you ? Like , of course I remember you .
Speaker 2But it's just little , tiny moments that impact people . Yeah , it's a whole life . A good teacher , yes , can change everything , and a bad teacher can change
Exploring Passions and Life Transitions
Speaker 2everything . Yes , I took a journalism class at PCC and like failed it . I was like she was so mean .
Speaker 1I was like I'm never doing this ever again .
Speaker 2I'm sorry I went into biology . Obviously that didn't work either I had that workout and I was like I can't be a biologist and a mom . I don't want to do that yeah .
Speaker 1I was thinking . I was like I don't think she does anything in biology right now . So then I went back to English . Yeah , no , I get it , and I don't know that a bad teacher would have pushed me away from what I wanted to do . But I also don't think that I ended up doing exactly what . I don't even know what I wanted to do .
Speaker 2So I still don't even know what I want to do . I'm like I wonder what I'm going to be in a few years .
Speaker 1Yeah , I have no idea when I grow up .
Speaker 2Yes , you never know , you can be many things in your life .
Speaker 1I hope so .
Speaker 1You know , when you see like I don't know , like a Facebook thing or an Instagram thing that says like so-and-so started running at 45 and now they won the marathon , you're like wow , yeah , that's amazing hope for us all that's amazing , but people coming actors like in their 60s , you know yeah , my husband's like former roommate , like when they were in their 20s , decided to take up like painting in his I guess he must not have been that old at the time , but maybe like in his 30s , like had never painted before and just I don't know what it was like old at the time , but maybe like in his 30s , like had never painted before and just I don't know what it was like . He just decided and now he's like doing paintings and selling them and commissioning , so he's an artist . Like that's literally what he does now and I'm thinking , isn't that weird , how a thing ? An activity that you had never crossed your mind and you may never do it . And that's what you're intended to do .
Speaker 2Yeah , and you don't discover it , but , like everything needed to lead up , to build you into that person , you were in that moment . You know that's the hope , or what , if you like ?
Speaker 1just never picked up that paintbrush True .
Speaker 2Well , it's fate you would Do . You think so , I don't know .
Speaker 1I'm thinking I'm supposed to be some like .
Speaker 2You have to try everything to see if you're good at it .
Speaker 1That's a lot of things to try .
Speaker 2Ashley , yeah , I just tried line dancing . You should come line dancing . That's been fun . Oh , I like line dancing . Oh , my gosh , it's my new favorite thing in the world .
Speaker 1You know , we actually learned line dancing in elementary school at St Francis Xavier , really , yeah , and I'm trying to remember why For PE I but you know I also I'm old enough that we had art and music and dance at school , so it may have been a dance class at school . Yeah , because I distinctly remember having things that , like I was like I just assumed it was part of it .
Speaker 2Like I was in a choir in elementary , it was choir part of it , yeah , and we had instruments and we had a drill team . I was at Markeppel , which is now a magnet school , but it wasn't a magnet school then and we just you just joined the programs and it would be like zero period , almost You'd go before school , oh yours was before .
Speaker 1Ours was during the school day . Oh , ours was always before or after . Yeah , I'm trying to . I think after was like cheerleading and volleyball being in the middle of the school day and dance being in the middle of the school day and it was great because then the boys had to do it because it was part of your class , and so then they're just like weird and awkward and don't want to dance and you're like this is great , this is so fun .
Speaker 2Well , I want to talk a little bit about your heart . We talked about your heart of volunteerism , but you have had some really scary issues when you were pregnant . Yes , tell me what happened ?
Speaker 1Oh boy , so , going back probably . So what was that 14 , 14 years ago ? So I was
Life-Threatening Pregnancy Complications
Speaker 1no , I'm sorry . 15 years ago , because I was pregnant with my first , I started having it was really bizarre like just a really bad headache and fever and I was like shaking and at this point I was , I'll say this , 20 weeks pregnant and you just assume it's pregnancy stuff . Well , I didn't assume it was pregnancy stuff , but I'm very , very good at saying like this isn't normal .
Speaker 1We're going to the hospital , like there's , I don't sit around and wait , like that is not my thing at all . So I made my husband take me in and they were like , oh , it's just the flu . Did you go to St Joe's ? No , I went to Kaiser it's Kaiser Sunset . And they're like no , it's just the flu . And I was like I've never had the flu before , never , not once , really Never . I know , isn't that weird ? I get a cold once or twice a year , but I have never had the flu Exactly . And they're like , well , you think I have the flu . But so they sent me home .
Speaker 1And then I went back again like the next day and I was like , yeah , things aren't better . Yeah , I don't . I don't know what to tell you . They're like , well , and I think at that point maybe they took some blood or , you know , did some cultures and then they sent me back home and then the next so this is now like two days in , my fever is still up and I'm thinking like this isn't right , like this is not normal . So I went in and I was like I am not leaving until you figure out what's wrong with me Good for you . And I'm like crying just out of pain , like my head hurts so badly .
Speaker 1And Miles and I always joke about this because , like at that point one of the nurses sees me and she's just like , um , oh honey , let's go , let's go get some apple juice . And so now we always joke about that . When there's something major , I think let's , let's go get some apple juice . It is so , it's , it's . It's funny now it was not at that time , but it's gonna get some apple juice . So she , she , we go in and you know they they do end up because now they're worried meningitis . And I'm like , why weren't you worried about meningitis two days ago ? I could be dead by now , you know .
Speaker 1So they end up doing a spinal tap , they do this , that and then , whatever , they eventually figure out that I had a very rare case of endocarditis , which is essentially an infection of your well , I guess it could be an infection of anything , but for me it was an infection of my heart valve . I don't even think that is a possible thing . It is not a thing most people know and they would always go like endocarditis , like anyone who'd walk in . They'd be like endocarditis . And then I eventually figured out why they'd give me that . Look , because it's often something that you get when you're an IV drug user from like dirty needles , because you're getting infection into your bloodstream .
Speaker 1And so eventually I figured it out . I was like , so they'd say endocarditis and I'd be like I'm not a IV drug user , like , and they'd come over and they'd like start looking . Yes , yes , because it is not a common thing . So they figure out . So it's like the heart valve . It's like it opens and closes and opens and closes and essentially you know you want your heart valve . This is all explained to me in layman's terms , so anyone who's listening , if I'm explaining it incorrectly , I'm sorry . I'm a lawyer , not a doctor , but you kind of want it to close like a door , like flat up against the frame . So when you have what's called mitral valve prolapse , the valve either closes like this or like this , where it's like not fully flat and flush with what it should be , and when that happens it is more susceptible to getting infected . And at the time I was pregnant , so your immune system is lower and potentially there was an infection in my body somehow and so it goes down your bloodstream and then it gets infected and usually your body fights the infection and it goes away . This was to the point where it was so infected that your body's not able to fight it , so it's just very infected and so they go . Okay , so we're going to put you know , we're gonna put you in IV antibiotics and you should be okay and you should be able to leave in 10 days . Okay , so we're there for 10 days . Wow , well , we're there for 10 days and on the 10th day they go . Oh , no , 10th day we're there and they put in what's called a PICC line , which is like a line that goes in , so when we go home they can send us home with antibiotics and it'll go directly into the bloodstream . And while they're doing that , all of a sudden , like the left side of my body goes numb oh my gosh . And so what we did learn is the headaches that I was having and the fever that I was having were all little mini strokes , because the infection like every time your valve opens and closes , it's just like going , like this , and so it's like spewing infection that goes to your brain . So that's what the headaches were and that's what was causing the fever and stuff . So what they learned at that day , when the left side of my body went completely numb , is that one of those emboli so that's what they call . It was big and large enough enough that it went to my brain and it paralyzed the left side of my body . So then they're like okay , clearly the IV antibiotics is not working , so we have to go in .
Speaker 1Um , and so , within so that day , they determined they're going to go in . You're pregnant , oh , I'm pregnant . This is the this is the true complicating issue . Um , so they decide within , yeah , within 24 hours , we need to go in and we need to either clean out the like , get the infection off of it , or give you a new valve . And it has to happen now and you know . So it's just a lot that's happening . And , by the way , you're pregnant , oh , and , by the way , part of the surgery is stopping your heart , oh , my god . And you've got a baby inside of you . And so how many months were you ? I was when I went in .
Speaker 2I was 20 weeks , oh yeah , so it's not like you can like do an early , you know , oh my gosh , it's all funny .
Speaker 1You say those things because it was . By the time I had the surgery I was 23 weeks and five days , wow . And so it was . And they said . They said , well , there's , you know , about a 50 percent chance the baby survives , and so you know , just , I mean , they're just giving you facts .
Speaker 1So it's like OK because they're going to have to stop the heart but they're going to have to monitor the baby . So all this stuff . So anyway , long story short , have surgery , they are able to replace it and they don't really do . I mean they don't stop your heart and have surgery . They are able to replace it and they don't really do . I mean they don't stop your heart and have surgery when you're pregnant .
Speaker 1For the most , part right like that's not something you want to do to a patient . Usually you'll say have the baby come back , but this is not , not an option . Time crunch yeah right , so it was . Um , I mean I'm incredibly lucky , like I had a friend who's an anesthesiologist in san diego who was reaching to like he had done like a fellowship in Harvard for anesthesiologists . He's calling his friend at you know Harvard , like hey , how do we deal with this with a pregnant baby ? You know pregnant baby or pregnant child with the baby , and we're going to have to stop the heart and you have to go on bypass and you know all this stuff . So I mean it was a lot of people working on one person and so you're very , very thankful for just the time and attention and care that people give to you .
Speaker 1But he survived oh , that's amazing , he totally survived . Did he go full term ? Well , he did go full . So we had the surgery 23 weeks and five days and I'll never forget my maternal fetal medicine doctor at the time . So you know I had graduated from having a regular OB to like someone who does high risk pregnancies because they're like oh , this is not going to be a normal pregnancy . So he came in and he's like well , you know , we sort of lost track of the baby's heartbeat for about 10 minutes of that . And he's like so you know one of two things either the baby just didn't have oxygen for that period of time and maybe there are some issues because , or maybe we just can find his heartbeat .
Speaker 1You know that happens and we're like OK , so like what does that mean ? He's like well , I would normally just have you come back in a week and just make sure the brain is growing at the rate we expect it to . You know , if you're 24 weeks , the brain is this big and if you're 25 , it's grown more . So that's what we would normally do he's like . But you're 23 weeks and five days . You cannot come back in one week and make a different decision . So you have 48 hours to make a decision . So it was . And of course , I'm straight out of cardiac surgery , I'm under anesthesia and I'm looking at my husband going .
Speaker 2I'm straight out of cardiac surgery .
Speaker 1I'm under anesthesia and I'm looking at my husband going I can't make this decision , you're just going to have to decide Wow . So we call him our miracle baby . So he , obviously . We chose to keep the pregnancy . He did go full term and came out healthy and came out . And of course so after , after surgery , I still came home with a PICC line , I still had a ton of antibiotics , yeah , and so my mom's like this baby's gonna be like who knows , radioactive I don't know that's amazing and it's so fun .
Speaker 1So that's what's funny to me now is when people are like , oh , I don't think I can take Tylenol during pregnancy . I go , let me tell you what you can do during pregnancy and you'll be fine . I mean , like the number of MRIs I had , the number of the number of x-rays , cts , I mean , you name it , you do . But I'm like he's fine , you'll be fine , you know . So he came out 10 fingers , 10 toes , but my mom was very concerned .
Speaker 1And I was like 10 fingers , 10 toes , but my mom was very concerned and I was like we're in America , It'll be fine . But the funny story is he the first you know when they , when they pee .
Speaker 2For the first time he peed and I was like oh my gosh , I can smell the antibiotics Like oh wow , and I mean and at that point it had been months since my last dose of antibiotic .
Speaker 1But when he peed I was like , oh yeah , that is very much the smell of antibiotics . So that kid , who knows , he got like a million doses of antibiotics . Maybe he's just going to be immune to everything , he's just going to be strong . And now he's like a toothpick , he's like 100 pounds , but yeah , so it was really funny . And then you had another surgery just recently .
Speaker 1So they replaced that , so they couldn that and they put , so they couldn't repair it , so they couldn't like clean it out and just leave it the way that it was . They re , they replaced it and they replaced it with a pig valve . It's a tissue valve , they call it . And the reason they decided that was the cardiologist was like , look , if this is my daughter and you're gonna have more children , you need to be on a tissue valve because then you don't have to take blood thinners , like you don't have to take Coumadin . And he's like , as soon as you go to a mechanical , you're going to have to take Coumadin .
Speaker 1So we went with the tissue valve and the downside for a tissue valve is that it has a limited lifetime . So we always knew , like . He said it's like a 12 to 15 year . He's like that's the lifespan . He's like , but you're young , and he might have even said 15 to 20 .
Speaker 1I don't remember . He's like , but you're young . He's like , so that's going to be even shorter . You're running around more , you're having babies . It's taxing on your body , so it's not going to be you're 15 to 20 . It's going to be your 10 to 12 whatever . So in my brain it was 10 , it was going to be 10 to 12 years . So my son turned 13 and you know , I've been going in for checkups and my cardiologist is like it looks as good as the day we put it in , like , and so I'm like , oh , this is great , fabulous , you know , and I go do my checkups and everything , and , uh , not a real issue
Emergency Cardiac Surgery and Recovery
Speaker 1. And then all of a sudden , like it's been , I think at that point like 13 and a half years and I'm just limits , yeah , but like , yeah , you know , just two months before I was totally fine , crazy , I know , that's what's , that's what's your checkup was fine .
Speaker 1And then something happened . Checkup was totally fine , and then I'm sitting at a deposition at work where you know it's like a room , there's a court reporter , there's my client , there's me , there's opposing counsel and they're asking questions . And you know I had walked over there and on the walk over I was kind of like you know , I'm a little like short of breath , like this is a little weird . It was September and I was like it's a little hot . Just because it's hot , I don't think anything of it . But then in the middle of the deposition I start getting a headache and I'm like , oh , you know I didn't have coffee , like maybe I just need to get some coffee . I walk over to get coffee and I'm like short of breath , like this is really bizarre , and but I was like I just need to get through this , like I had taken a while to schedule this thing and I was like I just need to get , I need to get this poor man away from this and be done , because it's a stressful texting thing . He doesn't need to come back , um . And so during the course of that I could just feel that it was harder and harder for me to get a sentence out like I had to keep like whatever I was talking . I had to keep it to like three words yeah , um , which I guess is great for the other side , but for me I was like wait a minute , um .
Speaker 1And so we , we wrapped up and then I looked at our you know , my client . I was like I need you to drive me to my car . And he's like what ? And I said , and I need you to hold this , and it was like the computer in my file and it wasn't very heavy . And he's looking at me . He goes are you okay ? And I go uh , I'm not okay . Yeah , but I'm going to the hospital and we're in downtown , la .
Speaker 1He goes why don't I just call an ambulance ? I said , because then they're going to take me to good samaritan and I don't want to be a good samaritan . I want to be at kaiser sunset , which is like the number one preeminent , you know , like heart surgery center of . And I didn't know that's what was going on . I was like but all my files are there . Yeah , I mean , if they just pull up my medical record number , it's all there . So , anyway , so he drives me to my car and he's like are you okay ? And I was like I have to be okay . So you know and I , you drove yourself there . I did I totally drove myself and I don't know that .
Speaker 1I would recommend that . Actually the drive there was fine because I was sitting and not talking . Um , it was and the things you don't think about like it was the walk from my car to the front of urgent care where I was .
Speaker 1Like that took me oh , that took me like 10 minutes or otherwise would have been like a one minute walk , but I was just like taking really small steps and I got there and I was in . I mean it was cardiac failure , Like it was just my blood pressure was through the roof . I haven't seen that two months difference .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , that's crazy , and I think , from what I understand , that it's like it's a tissue valve , right , so it's like it's almost like a , like a , like a rose , like a leaf or something like that , where it's just like it just tore , like it's just one moment , one moment , yeah , poor , like it's just one moment , just one moment , yeah . And I think just after a while , maybe , just from the environment inside , your body just wears thin and then it tears . So , um , and you just got , now you've got fluids that are just rushing into places that shouldn't be there . So my , you know , my lungs are filling with fluid and they did emergency surgery , or do you plan it ?
Speaker 2oh why would it be that simple , ashley ?
Speaker 1nothing in my life is that simple . At least you weren't pregnant this time , I know , and let me tell you , huge difference , huge difference . Yeah , um , I mean , now you have the issue of I have three children . You can't mess up , you know . Yeah , there's a lot at stake right now , whereas before I was like I have no children , like I mean I guess my husband won't have a wife , but you know it's a little different .
Speaker 1Um , but yeah , so they tried to wait to get me stable , because obviously emergency cardiac surgery is not what you want . Yeah , so they waited to get me stable , and then I like wanted a particular surgeon , and then they were like waiting to see if they could fit me in with his schedule , but he was leaving on vacation . So eventually we were able to land on a surgeon leaving on vacation . So eventually
Living With a Mechanical Heart Valve
Speaker 1we were able to land on a surgeon . And it was right around the time that actually it was the time where Kaiser was having their nurse . It wasn't the nurse strike , it was the whatever strike . I think it wasn't like the main nurses , but it was like phlebotomists , food services , it was like everything but nurses , the hospital was affected oh yeah , oh , it was super affected .
Speaker 1So he snuck me in , essentially like oh , our staff and stuff snuck me in to get the surgery , but like the next day there was a strike that was happening and sorry , I may say , nothing is ever simple .
Speaker 2Because it wasn't during COVID too . It wasn't during COVID , yes .
Speaker 1There was lots of silver linings .
Speaker 2Yeah , that's credible , yeah . So then now of course .
Speaker 1Now they had to go . They didn't have to , but it was recommended that they do a mechanical valve now . So now I've got a mechanical valve . Does that last longer ? Allegedly , okay , allegedly , it's a lifetime . Okay , allegedly .
Speaker 2You know , it's actually what Arnold Schwarzenegger has and has had a few times and I was like , well , if you had to have it a few times exactly .
Speaker 1So my uncle , who's a cardiologist , who you know you can always trust that the man will give it to you straight . Yeah , I said , well , at least I don't have to have surgery again , like I got had it when I was young , you know , and he looks at me he goes lifetime . He's like maybe the lifetime of a 70 year old , but like you're 40 girl . And I was like , yeah , you're probably girl . And I was like , yeah , you're probably right , he goes . Yeah , I don't know that this has been tested on a 40-year-old . Wow , he's like I'm seeing like 20 , 25 years .
Speaker 2I was like , okay , maybe I'll still be young and it's scary because you've had it checked every year and you're just waiting for the symptoms , possibly Totally . You really have to be in tune with your body , yes , and have a plan .
Speaker 1And or at least just know that I'm not going home to go lay down on the couch when I don't feel well . It's a like get yourself to a hospital .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1And if they tell me , hey , silly girl , it's because you have COVID or pneumonia , then oh well , Then I have . And it's funny , like as I was sitting there in the deposition I was texting with my husband to say like , hey , I won't be able to do school pickup , so can you like arrange for after school care ? He goes why , what's wrong ? And I said I don't know . I said I either have COVID or pneumonia . And he's like , okay , he goes , so what are you going to do ? I was like , well , I'm going to go to the hospital . And he was like , yeah , I'm going to the hospital . And he's like , okay , so yeah , I don't mess around with things like that .
Speaker 2Does it worry you when you like leave town ?
Speaker 1Well , it didn't before I never did . But now I'm like , yeah , it is a . What if I was in Europe ? What ?
Speaker 2if I was in .
Speaker 1Mexico . What if I was ? I mean because it wasn't like something you could wait , no , and you can flying with that . I mean no , there's no way . There's no way . There is no way . I mean , once they got me stable it would have had surgery in mexico .
Speaker 2That would be insane .
Speaker 1Yeah , and then pulling all your records that no , I mean , I was sitting here very carefully trying to pick what from one of these preeminent american surgeons and you , you wouldn't have that you know in Mexico , I'd be like . I have no idea what you're talking about . Who are these people ?
Speaker 2Yeah , so yeah .
Speaker 1So it is one of those things where you're like so now , what ? Like do I not ever go ?
Speaker 2to Mexico . Are you like living just every day at a time ? Are you trying to plan ahead for ?
Speaker 1things I try not to do . I mean , I feel like that's like one of those things where , if you do live like that , you're probably putting yourself in a very fearful situation , and that's that can't be positive , you know , not good for your heart , either it's not .
Speaker 1It's not good for your mental health , it's not good for . So I'm like , yes , that was , that was a big deal and I need to recognize that that's a possibility and an issue and I need to be mindful of that for if something happens , but I can't let that run my life because there's , I mean , it would ruin my life and it would ruin my kids lives and it would ruin my husband's life and I'm like , and I'd like they didn't sign up for that you know , and that's not .
Speaker 2That's not what I want , so you ever think that you try to stay busy to keep your mind off things ? No , because I feel like when I'm static , I think too much and I think and then it starts when are you static ? That's why , because when I say like when , if I don't have things to do , I start to like spiral in my head you worry about things , I worry , I'm not a worrier .
Speaker 1Well , that's good . I am not a warrior , I just assume that it's going to . I always say this I'm like it's going to be fine . Yeah , like it's . You know , miles always makes fun of me because when our second was born he was blue , like first of all . He came out we didn't even know what we were having , because it was a surprise . And so he's the baby's born . And then I'm just sitting here going , like is someone going to tell me if it's a boy or a girl ? I was like , what's the baby ? And my house is like hold on , the baby's blue . And I said , oh god , I , I literally said , I said we're in america , the baby will be fine . Yeah , is it a boy or a girl ? Oh my god . And he just looks at me and he goes it's a boy , so it's , and I , so I say that all the time I go it'll be fine . Yeah , everything's always fine it is just yeah .
Speaker 2And sometimes , when things's always fine , it is Just yeah . And sometimes , when things aren't fine now , they're redeemed and they're fine later and you're like OK , I see why I went through that or why that happened .
Speaker 1And totally , and we can always justify things even if it's not . But so I don't know . I try not to , I try not to . And now you have a bionic heart . Right , I have a bionic heart . They do . We always joke . Well , my youngest will say this He'll be like , especially when I'm putting him down to sleep and it's quiet , yeah , it's like I can hear your heart . What ?
Speaker 2does it sound like ?
Speaker 1It's clicking . I bet if we stopped talking it clicks .
Speaker 2Like every so often , or just as it beats as it beats . As every beat .
Speaker 1I'm trying to see if I can hear it as I'm sitting here . Sometimes , like , I can hear it really really loudly , and other times it's there but I can't hear it as well , and when I'm busy I can't hear it at all . If he like lays his head on your chest . You probably hear it pretty well . Oh yeah , if I'm laying down and nothing's happening , I can hear it .
Speaker 2That's kind of cool .
Speaker 1But you kind of know , like it's working , things are moving in there . I mean it's not a pacemaker but yes , I guess it is opening and closing , yeah , like doing something but I feel like I would know it's not working before I realized it wasn't right I couldn't hear it .
Speaker 1Um , yeah , it's . And now sometimes he says it and I'm like I don't think that's what that sound was , but it's just cute , and I think it's like he's the first person to have heard it . Yeah , so I think he's like oh , that's my thing . I can hear your heart and I was like it's like everyone else's thing if they're sitting near me , but it's , it's funny so yeah , like I have a little scar and I have to keep it covered from the sun just so it's not horrible .
Speaker 1But yeah , I was definitely the youngest person in that ward by about 30 years .
Speaker 2Yeah , I was going to say usually hard things don't happen to people your age .
Speaker 1No , and the nurses were funny . They were just like , oh . I said , oh , you know , this is really hard , you know recovery , like getting out of bed and everything , and I go go , I can't imagine doing this at 70 . Yeah , and the nurse said to me goes , you know , the 70 year old will get out of here before you do . And I was like what ? And she said , yeah , um , they're .
Speaker 1I think their nerve endings aren't as you know , they're , they're not as sensitive because , so they don't feel pain really nearly as much as you do . I was like , oh , she goes , she goes . Yeah , it's just something about like they have other issues right , like bones healing and all this sort of stuff . The feeling of pain is not as . Yeah , and he's like , and that's usually what's preventing you from making certain movements and and stuff like that . So I was like , oh , and sure enough , I was supposed they're like oh , yeah , you should be out of here in like seven to 10 days . And of course , I was there for 14 . Yeah , you know , I mean I was there total 22 days , but 14 after surgery . And and and what she ? One day she came up she was the 70 year old left . You're here alone . Yeah , ok , cool , that's great . Oh my God , when I do this again , it'll be faster .
Speaker 2I don't know . That's great . Well , thank you for sharing this story . I mean , it's incredible .
Speaker 1I mean it's definitely
Importance of Self-Care and Community Empowerment
Speaker 1not . Yeah , I think people are like , oh , like , are you okay if I tell people I'm like , yeah , I was like , but really listen to your body , you know . If it's somewhat , if you think it's COVID or pneumonia , maybe it's heart failure , you know . So perhaps you should go to the hospital and maybe you go and they say like you're being a hypochondriac and you go okay .
Speaker 2Yeah , I have like frequent flyer miles . I love going to the doctor . I have an appointment at 4.30 today .
Speaker 1See , there you go . Got to make sure you get out of it . Just make sure I'm okay , please . Exactly , and of course I'm sure there's stuff they miss or whatever it is .
Speaker 1But it is definitely a reminder of A please just keep doing what you're supposed to do . Check on yourself , check on your body , always go to your appointments . But then also , you know , if something seems wrong , don't try and sleep it off , like I think if I'd gone home to sleep it off I'd be dead . But I mean , I don't know that I would have lasted that long because I would have been like someone take me to the hospital .
Speaker 2But I think you're just like a beacon of like resilience and hard work and community , and that you can really do anything . You have the time for it , she can do it , you guys anything is possible .
Speaker 1It's definitely really funny . For me it's crazy Like when people get emails from AOS they're like , oh , we don't have time for this , I go please don't ever say that to me . I hate that line , I know . I know I don't have time for that .
Speaker 2I was like what do you think work ? Make it work , um , if it's important to you , you make it work and I think that it's important to people .
Speaker 1I just think I don't know what it is . I mean , obviously , the goal , my goal in life , is to empower people to like to do things to give back to their community , and you make that a priority in your life . Yes , so it I . And sometimes I think it's people . They think like , oh , I can't do this , like , oh , yeah , you can , like it's , it won't be perfect , but it's better than it not getting done at all .
Speaker 2You know , it's like when you have a baby for the first time , it's like you don't expect the amount of hours and the stress and the things . But you make it work , you figure it out , you do it , we all did it . It all works out so well , thank you thank you for being here .
Speaker 1Well , thank you for having .